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With the , the media shined a spotlight on the personal lives of founder Sam Bankman-Fried and his inner circle.

It turns out that Bankman-Fried, his on-and-off girlfriend, Caroline Ellison, who served as CEO of FTX subsidiary Alameda and others involved in the company have dabbled in polyamory. Polyamorous relationships in which partners seek out multiple romantic or sexual relationships.

that many of the people in the crypto empire's inner circle, who were sharing a luxury penthouse in the Bahamas, are thought to have been in a "polycule," meaning a network of interconnected romantic relationships. , "All 10 are, or used to be, paired up in romantic relationships with each other."

In a 2020 post on , Ellison reflected upon her exploration of polyamory:

"When I…started my first foray into poly, I thought of it as a radical break from my [traditional] past but [to be honest], I've come to decide the only acceptable style of poly is best characterized as something like [an] ''…none of this non-hierarchical bullshit. Everyone should have a ranking of their partners, people should know where they fall on the ranking, and there should be vicious power struggles for the ranks."

As a , I am concerned that Ellison's posts—and —could create misunderstandings about polyamory and polycules, and further stigmatize non-traditional relationship styles.

A poly primer

Polyamory—often shortened to "poly"—is relationship-focused and predicated on consent. Everyone involved is privy to the arrangement. It isn't strictly about sex.

These relationship networks are known as "polycules" or "constellations," and they can be complex and interconnected. The word polycule is a blending of "polyamory" and "molecule," reflecting relationship configurations that often .

In hierarchical polycules, which Ellison refers to in her blog post, there is a central relationship usually referred to as the "primary" relationship. Other people outside the central relationship are often called "secondary" or "tertiary" partners.

Views of how status can operate within hierarchical structures vary. For example, the suggests that "A 'secondary' partner isn't necessarily less important, but may be a smaller part of someone's daily life."

The website describes hierarchical poly as "One Primary Plus" where "Partners are not equal to each other in terms of power within the relationship and things like interconnection and relationship intensity."

Non-hierarchical arrangements, on the other hand, reject a tiered system. In these sorts of relationship configurations, partners are not ranked with terms like primary or secondary. It also means that no one person has greater priority or privileges or "" over other partners.

Hierarchy doesn't mean subjugation

are plentiful in poly circles and often elicit strong opinions—as Ellison's reflects.

While Ellison sees the hierarchical style as superior, there is no evidence that one style of poly is better than another in terms of . I'd argue that all styles are acceptable as long as everyone involved consents to the arrangement.

Hierarchical styles can clarify expectations about roles within a polycule. However even if Ellison is being tongue-in-cheek or sarcastic, I think it's important to note that the "vicious power struggles for rank" that she calls for are contrary to the ethos of polyamory. states that advocating without competing is a vital skill in poly relationships, whether they're hierarchical or non-hierarchical.

Furthermore, to those not familiar with polyamory, Ellison's post can be misread to conflate contemporary polyamory with non-consensual forms of non-monogamy. By championing the as a model, Ellison invokes the legacy of patriarchal societies in which women served as wives and concubines.

Why polycules matter

that consensual non-monogamy is becoming more common, especially among younger Americans. According to , 43% of millennials are "likely to say their ideal relationship is non-monogamous."

For this reason, Ellison's posts more likely reflect changing relationship norms, rather than sexual deviancy.

This article is republished from under a Creative Commons license. Read the .